8 July 2015

Yesterday Daryl & Larry decided to go to Eltham OMNI on Wednesday for the meeting and the BBQ. Daryl and Larry are ya typical Aussies who just love a bit of roadkill on a BBQ. It was a  meeting filled with inspiring wisdom and good humour. Larry got quite excited about it. It was an uplifting meeting with a fascinating topic of “What’s Life All About”. There was one little hiccup in that the power was out so the twenty men sat in the meeting in the cold and the dark. Which also meant the BBQ was not working.

Daryl, being an Ideas Man,  suggested to Larry that they two go up the road a bit to Eltham Park and use one of their two BBQ’s.

Unfortunately they tried the first BBQ but sadly it was ‘out of order’ so they walked to the one on the hill. Unfortunately just before they got to it, two women and their children grabbed that BBQ.

So Daryl and Larry put both their eskies down waited patiently for forty minutes sharing a beer and a yarn, smelling the luring flavours drifting their way. They talked over the problems of the world including the Greek crisis and the USA decision to allow gay marriage.

Finally the women left the BBQ with their feast, so Daryl and Larry scurried over to claim it. They put their eskies up, turned on the BBQ and waited for it to warm up. Daryl got out his one sausage and carefully placed it in the middle of the sizzling plate. ‘I am starving mate’.

Larry opened his esky and moved his icepacks to one side and got out his tongs and the rolls. ‘Me too Daz … I could eat a horse, then chase its jockey’.

Daryl enquired “Larry did you bring the sauce?”

Larry scrimmages around his esky in disbelief and exclaimed to Daryl “You’re not going to believe this but I left the sauce at home in Greensborough, along with all my BBQ meat on the kitchen bench this morning.”

Daryl looked up in despair then down at his little sausage, then over at a visibly upset Larry.

‘Not a problem mate … we can share it Larry.’ Larry was touched by hungry Daryl’s generosity and thought it was the decent thing to do and say he wasn’t hungry. But desperate Larry didn’t … he gracefully accepted Daryl’s offer.

Together they took it in turns to carefully turn Da Sausage, treating it like it was their first-born .. oh so careful not to burn the only morsel that stood between them and starvation. But they did not realise that the BBQ light had gone out. Desperately hungry by this stage Larry quietly relight the BBQ … and the wait continued.

Finally the moment they had been waiting all their lives had come. It was cooked to perfection. Now came the hard part. Daryl had to cut Da sausage in half. He made the incision. Larry looked up at him in panic. Daryl had cut the sausage … but it clearly wasn’t even. One half was 3 inches and the other half was 3 ½ inches. Who would get left with the little one?

Daryl took a deep breath and forked the biggin. It wasn’t a particularly good forking and whist Larry didn’t say it they both simultaneously thought “What if this drops off into the dirt … what then? Will they then have to share half of a half?’

The pressure was building on Daryl … he nervously lifted the Biggin sausage into the air (as if to pay homage to the Food Gods) and placed it reverently in the middle of the roll (which was leaning precariously at an angle) and pushed it generously towards Larry. Larry was visibly touched and put his hand on Daryl’s shoulder ‘I love ya mate’.

Daryl unselfishly put his little sausage in his roll and they clinked stubbies and toasted the day. As you can imagine they scoffed it down in 30 seconds, finished off their larger and packed up their eskies and walked off into the sunset together, back to their cares.

One of the women who was standing nearby turned to her girlfriend and muttered ‘If Tony Abbot ever needed a reason for ‘same sex marriage’ … he need not look any further than that couple there’.

It doesn’t get any better than this.

3 thoughts on “LARRY HAS GOT ‘HALF A ONE’

  1. Hmmm?
    – Meeting finishes around 12.00pm
    – half an hour to the BBQ (max) – 12.30pm
    – 40 minutes waiting (talking and drinking!) – 1.10pm
    – how long to cook a sausage (even one so small) – 1.30pm
    – 5 minutes to argue the odds on the division – 1.35pm
    – scoffed in 30 seconds (they say) – 1.35.30pm
    – finish the beer & pack up – 1.36.30pm
    – then walk into the sunset? – gimme a break!!!
    …. and they reckon Tony Abbot has problems. 🙂 🙂


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